Chris after a hard days work at the venue, Hank drunk dancing in background
For you, and you know who you are
You might not realize it, but you make me terribly sad. You tell me you are upset, but you won’t let me do anything to help. I call you all the time and text you, and I know Verizon and At&t hate eachother, but I know you must get more of my text and calls than you put on, you seem to get most if not all Clay’s (which he is on Verizon too). I love you, you are a great freind to me, and you mean everything to me. Right now I immediatley want to see you to cheer you up, but I also just plain out want to see you. We always have a ball everytime we hang out, and everytime I leave we always say we should do it more, yet we never do. I’ve never had the stones to say it, because I’m alwasy afraid you’d get defensive, and you’d push me away. I say this on here because I know I would never do it if I tried any other way. Also, I like Clay, I really do. I’m usually overly protective of my freinds and end up disliking their significant others, even if they are nice people, just because I know they have the power to hurt my friend. He is a pretty cool guy, and is very nice (to me at least, I can’t vouch for others, I’m not really around him in groups). But, I don’t think you guys a re for eachother. I know me and a choice few agree. You are both great people, but you guys butt heads way to often, and all he always ends up making you sad in the end. I don’t know how it is on his end of the bargain, but I’m sure its not always well either. And, STOP SAYING NO ONE ELSE WILL TAKE YOU. You are amazing. You are beautiful (regardless what you say or think), funny, fun to hang out with, caring, and the list goes on. You are a great catch, and you should realize that. Maybe its just that its past 5 in the morning, and I’m loopy from lack of sleep (but whats new right?), but hell, I know I’d take you. Bet you didn’t think I’d come out and say that, huh? You are one of the most important people in my life, and I’d never want to fuck that up, and this in no way changes what we are and have. You always tell me you need to be interested in someone else, and you’re afraid no one else would ever want you. Yet, I’m right in front of your face. And I know I can’t be the only person that would take you, there are many people out there. I’m not one to say what you should and should not do, but you definately need to change something, thats obvious. You are not happy, and it keeps circling around, trapping you in it, and its going to continue and spiral downward taking you with it. I want you to be happy, but only you have the choice to embrace that and make the changes to keep you from being so sad. I love you, and I want whats best for you. Please call/text/message/reblog/etc me. I miss you, I’m sure you could use a freind around, and I need some more Sara in my life.
This is Logan. He keeps me real and true to myself. He’s certainly a best friend of mine.
He helps me stay true to my word and true to myself.
Lately I’ve been slightly contradicting myself.
I’m going to end up hurting yet another person in my life.
I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I don’t mean to be the way I am.
I just don’t know how to tell you the truth.
July 15th will hopefully be the happiest day of my life. I’m so nervous and scared and anxious and worried and freaking out basically. Everything has to be just right. I shouldn’t have to try too hard. It should just be that way. I hope this is what I think it is. I hope I am light headed and I feel like im gonna puke and that i cant stop smiling.
i think im getting my hopes up.
:) Keighty, you’re one of my best freinds. Btw everyone, don’t you love my Mother Lover shirt?
really Keighty, really? WHAT THE FUCK? stop buying shit.
I don’t know, I don’t think they look so bad :)
Not sure if I know you absoluticris, but welcome to my complete and utter random ramblings :)
So, its been awhile since I’ve posted anything. Man I’m slacking.
This is all a mask
I’m spunky with a smile on my face, but ask me how I really feel.
I let shit bother me way too much, and its building up in me.
I know I have friends, but I feel really alone. I feel, and have always felt, like I’m the last priority of everyone. Sure, my freinds will spend time with me, but only if all their other friends already have something to do, or if they don’t have something else they’d rather be doing. There is so much I would drop to help a freind, or even to make them feel better, and I don’t feel like I get even half as much help or time back.
Maybe its just me. But everyone has their special freinds or groups they always hang together, and do everything together. I guess I just don’t have that, and it makes me sad. I had a freind in high school that you couldn’t get us apart. I want that again. Whether it be girlfreind or best friend, I need someone. I appreciate the time everyone gives me, but I’m honestly hurting.
You may not be able to tell from day to day, I put on a good mask and show my acting skills. That what I’m good at, talking. I can make people believe shit I don’t even believe. But I’m in bad shape guys. I have a lot of issues hitting me from all sides, and many choices I need to make. Its all a bit much to take.
The people that can see this are honestly some the closest people in my life. I need you guys.
I have rootbeer and sarcasm….and a messy room. Logan, if you’re reading this right now you’re probably thinking “you always have a messy room”. Which is true. So you should probably come over and play wii with me, and bring Keighty because I miss you.I love my Sara, I really do